Thanksgiving Humor

I thought I would throw a little Thanksgiving humor out there....we all might need it! :)

It was just before Thanksgiving in Walmart and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.
In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.'

Real Questions to the Turkey Cooking Hotline
1. Should I carve my turkey with a 16in Redmax or should I get out my Stihl Electric Chain Saw? 2. Is it OK to baste my turkey with engine oil?
3. Should I leave the giblets in their plastic bag during cooking?

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. Johnny Carson

Why the Pilgrim's pants always falling down?
Because they wore their buckles in their hats.

Why did the hungry Pilgrim eat the last candle?
He wanted a light snack.

'I was going to serve sweet potatoes with Thanksgiving dinner, but I sat on them.'
'So what are you serving now?'
'Squash.'